Advocate, Mapquest and Pumpkins

I hate to quote a Republican but I think President Ronald Regan said it best:

The most frightening words in the English language are - I am from the government and I am here to help!

I have a variety of things to say about the Illinois Hospital Facility Planning Board's (IHFPB) decision to not build a hospital in either Lindenhurst or Round Lake. So I am going to put them in no particular order.

• Here are links to various articles on the subject in the Daily Herald, News Sun and Chicago Tribune.
• Google Maps says it takes 22 minutes from Wilson and 120 to Condell in Libertyville.
  Mapquest says it takes 19 minutes.
  My Tom Tom satellite navigation system says 26 minutes.
  
• Non-stop comments from people about my Daily Herald quote of "Pumpkin Heads" Overwhelmingly people seem to enjoy my equating bureaucrats to orange, soft, mushy, big headed pumpkins.
• One email comment:
  The government will allow banks to build on every corner, regardless of anyone's "assessment" of the "need" for another bank, while providing trillions of dollars of insurance to depositors in case the banking system fails due to over expansion, or any other reason. But the government won't allow a private entity to invest its own money into a health care facility because Mapquest doesn't say it is needed??

Finally I decided to do some research to simulate a quasi emergency and how we would need to race from Round Lake (120 and Wilson) to Condell Hospital in Libertyville. Needless to say I needed a patient, hence the Pumpkins, who suffered a simulated accident at the corner of 120 and Wilson. This controlled experiment used the following equipment and followed rigours standard principles.

• One car driven at normal speeds.
• A trustee well versed in emergency health care evacuations (Trustee Dale Multerer).
• My camera which was used every two minutes to capture a picture of where we were for verification purposes.
• A stop watch.
• Two flat pumpkins.

Some observations, I did this before school let out and before rush hour started to make sure I got literally the best possible conditions for getting to a hospital quickly. If this were a true emergency the ambulance would move quicker, (however we only stopped at 4 of the 17 lights we would have hit). Conversely the pumpkins were lucky that the Mayor and a highly skilled trustee happened to notice them, because it would take 2-4 minutes for paramedics to arrive.


At 1:32 Dale and I noticed Mr Pumpkin and his companion who seemed to be in some form of distress. So we decided to transport them to Libertyville and Condell which is only 19 minutes away!



At 1:35 we secured the Pumpkins safely in the back of the car.


This was the scene that confronted us as we attempted to rush the pumpkins to emergency medical care only 19 minutes away. We pulled away at 1:36 exactly! Knowing we would have the pumpkins safe and sound with top medical professionals at 1:55.


At 1:42 we were going down Route 60 at Turks, glancing back at the pumpkins they seemed somewhat orange in complexion but they assured me that was normal.


At 1:44 we were waiting behind these commuters at 60 and Peterson Road, no idea what they were doing on a Tuesday afternoon, but a good shot anyway.


At 1:46 we were nearing the train tracks at Peterson and 45, where thankfully we did not get caught by a train. We crossed the train lines 2 times in our trip to the hospital. Elapsed time to this point 10 minutes!


Here we are at 1:50 waiting for the light at 137 and Butterfield, in the right of the picture you can see my Tom Tom which seemed more logical with travel times.


At 1:52 we heard moaning from the back seat as we drove down 137 just West of the Libertyville city limits! Elapsed time to this moment is 16 minutes.


Here we are at 2:00 pm on Milwaukee (Route 21 in Libertyville). Elapsed time 24 minutes and some highly distressed pumpkins in the back seat!


Ok here we are at last, at 2:04, 28 minutes later


But wait there is a 2 minute drive to actually get to the entrance to the emergency room. Plus the signs are confusing!

Unfortunately when we arrived we were turned away because the Pumpkins had Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance and could not be treated at Condell.

PLEASE NOTE: No pumpkins were harmed during this experiment in sarcasm.